My Head-on Collision With Myself
I’ve been thinking. I’ve been seeking. I’ve been listening. I’ve been learning. I’ve been becoming.
It is difficult to put into words where I am at this point in my life. This past year has literally blown my mind. I mean I never knew that life is or could be what I now know it to be.
After all this time, man…I can truly say I’ve found it and I’ll never be the same.
Piece by piece things started happening. People, places, thoughts of familiar….gone. Then about a year ago, I felt as though I hit a plateau. Almost like I had 11 pieces but I was still missing the 12th( ah yes the number 12 which represents what is complete)
I couldn’t put my finger on it. The dreams I had was there, the vision was there, I was praying, but still my spirit man wasn’t being served. I wasn’t fulfilled and I could feel there was more…something was missing.
I have learned that during the times that I feel I am without direction and I am no longer connected to the Higher Source is because I have failed to disconnect from the noise, from the world and all of its distractions.
So I went on a 40day fast. No social media, no tv, no distractions, no meat, no sweets, no bread, no processed foods. Trust me there is no greater test of one’s faith than denying your flesh of its carnal desires while in pursuit of your higher self.
I remember distinctly that my focus and prayer was that God would open my eyes to truth. I was surrendering all that I thought I knew, all that I “knew” I knew, and all that I had been taught and believed to be the truth.Why? Because I knew the Truth, the Divine Truth, would be the essential key I needed to open every other door; it would be the 12th piece.
Interestingly enough instead of getting the answers I was looking for, I got more challenges. But I stayed focused, meditated and prayed. I believed with everything in me that all things were working together for my good, and I constantly reminded myself that my faith was unwavering and that no matter what I would stay the course.
So early one morning I got up while the house was quiet and began to mediate and pray. I had done this many days before but this time was different. The energy that morning was really strong and I was overwhelmed in emotion.
Then I began hearing in my spirit, Are you ready? I initially hesitated only to be sure if I was hearing correctly and then the question was posed again. Are you ready? Without hesitation my response was Yes. Without attempting to question that with a “ready for what?”, my response was a resounding YES. I AM READY.
The details didn’t matter. I was ready for the real experience, the true enlightening. I was ready to go wherever I was divinely created to go and do whatever it was that I was divinely created to do.
It’s hard to fully describe the experience but in that moment my entire existence was released.
Free to breathe.
Free to live.
Free to open my eyes to all that was possible.
I was making my personal declaration to The Most High that I would give up any and every thing to seek, find and walk in my life purpose.
And just like that my life changed forever.
Man I can’t tell you the feeling you have once you realize all of your life has been based on lies. Passed down lies, traditions, ideologies…my entire life I’d been living a lie. Completely in the dark, or asleep as they would say.
But now none of that mattered because I was rising above everything and boy, oh boy, did my perspective change.
I never realized my power and purpose more than I do now. And I am literally unstoppable.
You can’t hold me, you can’t conform me, and you can’t break me. I’ve realized the divine within and I’m going after everything that is divinely mines.
No fear. No doubt. No hesitation. I am that I AM, jack.
I can hear the “how” questions popping up now, like…
How do I get to that point? How do I know when I’m really doing what I’m supposed to do? How do I know when I’ve found it?
Well first know this, I cannot answer any of those questions for you because this is your journey and you cannot cheat the process by skipping the lessons you need in order to find those answers.
What I can say, with certainty, is that every single answer you are looking for is within and the moment you get serious with life, for real, for real, you will seek and find everything you’re looking for and more.
You must stop looking outside of yourself, get still and get to know you.
Remove fear and your timeline-based expectations.
Decide that you will do whatever it takes, for how ever long it takes to find your higher self, higher peace and higher purpose.
Trust me, the moment you have that defining head-on collision with yourself, you’ll know — yup this is it.
I’ve found it.